


Voila, A Bad Fanfiction!

by WildWestieWrites



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: And a Very Dumb One At That, Babybones (Undertale), But there's no romance in this, Explaining Yourself in the Tags is The New Hip Thing, Gen, Haven't proofread this at all, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I Wrote This as a 15 Year Old, Kinda, Nightmare 'nopes' his way outta this one, OOC for everyone!, OOC for me, OOC for you, Originally Inspired by a Crightmoss prompt, Please forgive me I've improved since this trainwreck, They are transformed into babies via fanfic logic, amirite lol, lol this entire fic was a mistake, no seriously I haven't checked this at all, so mistakes are likely, that is all you need to know
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-14
Updated: 2018-06-14
Packaged: 2019-05-23 09:41:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,047
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14931815
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WildWestieWrites/pseuds/WildWestieWrites
Summary: Via the fantastical logic of fanfics, Horror, Dust and Killer were inexplicably transformed into babies. This goes about as well as you would expect.





	Voila, A Bad Fanfiction!

**Author's Note:**

> Found this in the depths of my Kindle Fire. Gonna post it bc I can. 
> 
> ...I apologise in advance.

"CROSS GET YOUR ASS HERE NOW!"  
Nightmare's shout sent Cross scrambling off the sofa where he had been playing on his gameboy, dropping it and teleporting out into the corridor. He raced towards the source of noise, knife summoned. Various scenarios tumbled through his head. Had someone somehow broken into the castle? Oh jeez, what could break into Nightmare's castle like that and live? What if they were trying to kill Nightmare? Cross yanked open the door, preparing to do battle.

"..." Cross stared at the scene before him, mouth falling open. His knife clattered to the floor before desummoning.  
At the sound of the door being nearly torn off its hinges, Nightmare huffed and turned around, looking irritated.

"Took your time."

"...wha-WHY ARE THERE BABIES ALL OVER THE KITCHEN?!!?! WHAT THE FREAKING CHOCOLATE COATED HELL?!"

Nightmare gave an annoyed growl. "Oh, quit your anime girl whining already."

A sharp pain suddenly shot up from his ankle and Cross squealed, reaching down and picking up on of the babybones, which had a jagged hole in its head and sharp teeth stained with blood. Holding it at arms length, the anklebiter seemed familiar in some way-wait.

Cross froze.

"WHY ARE HORROR, KILLER AND DUST ALL BABIES? THIS IS LIKE A BAD FANFICTION-"

\----

Cross made a silent promise to himself never to have children.  
Not after getting dumped with the trio of admittedly sort of cute but pretty homicidal/suicidal skelebabies who could give Sonic a run for his money.

"HORROR! PUT the BLEACH DOWN goddammit, that is NOT FOOD." Cross wrestled the bottle away from him and hurled it far away. He winced, Horror biting down on his arm in revenge. Swearing under his breath, Cross hunted around for something for Horror to gnaw and eventually found a wooden spoon.

...It would do for now. Better that than his arm.

Horror happily chomping away on his spoon, Cross carried him over to the temporary baby pen (which was really a cage with a few blankets and a cow plushie that Cross particularly hoped Horror would chew to pieces next) and dropped him into it.  
It took a few moments for Cross to register that the others were missing from the baby cage.

"....FRICK."

Cross began to frantically search the area, running around like a headless chicken as he searched for Killer and Dust. An angry yell from somewhere in the castle sent Cross bolting towards Nightmare's office. Upon reaching the corridor, Cross saw the small form of Dust giggling as he was suspended in mid air by a single black tentacle. The goopster who owned the tentacle looked very pissed off and very close to simply lobbing the babybones out of a nearby window.

Nightmare turned towards Cross and stared at him, unimpressed. He then chucked Dust to Cross (who somehow managed to catch him), and turned on his heel and walked back into his office, slamming the door shut. From outside, the sound of various pieces of furniture being pushed against the door was clearly audible.

Cross looked down at the now giggling babybones and sighed.  
"I'm not even gonna ask what you did in there, Dust."

It then dawned on him Killer was still missing.

Cross immediately ran back to the baby cage, dumping in Dust and making straight for the kitchen. He was in luck (or not, thinking about it).

"KILLER DO NOT STAB RANDOM THINGS WITH THE KITCHEN KNIVES."

\----

Having finally located all the babybones, Cross had just settled down with a bar of chocolate when a howl erupted from the baby cage.  
Cross groaned, scarfing down the rest of his chocolate before meandering over to the cage. He reached into the brawl taking place in the cage, grabbing the knife that Killer somehow still had (of course he did). He also grabbed Horror by the back of his hoodie, who had apparently just been stabbed by a butter knife. 

Fantastic.

He ignored Killer's whimpers (he probably did deserve to be bitten for that)and took Horror towards where they kept the medical kit. Finding plasters, Cross pinned Horror down and got to work fixing him up. Horror squirmed and chomped on Cross’ fingers whenever he could.

After the tsunami of swearing while trying to put the plasters on Horror, Cross picked him up and Horror immediately started gnawing on his scarf while drooling. Lovely.

Thinking about it, Cross didn't think either he or Nightmare had fed them anything....

Welp, guess lunch was up next. He was hungry anyway.

Cross threw Horror back into the cage (happily noting that Killer had directed his stabbing towards the cow plushie) and went into the kitchen, searching through the cupboards, trying to remember what babies ate. While there wasn't much to pick from, he eventually settled on leftover pizza that hadn't been in the fridge for too long.  
Well.  
He hoped.

Cross attempted to heat up the pizza without burning the castle to the ground.  
After an hour of close calls and leaving permanent burn marks all over the kitchen, Cross produced three plates of pizza that was only slightly burnt. Hooray.

Now all he had to do was feed them.

\----

After the explosive disaster that was mealtime, the babybones all seemed to conk out and were asleep in minutes. They probably would have looked cuter did they not look like they had suddenly developed some kind of super-measles all over themselves. Messy eaters, the lot of them.

When Cross left to shower, he saw Nightmare scowling at the top of the stairs. Gulping, Cross continued on his way and hoped there would still be three left when he came back.

Actually, thinking about it....

One would definitely be easier to handle, honestly.  
Go Nightmare.

\----

After coming back, they were all (un)fortunately alive and kicking each other. To try and get the babybones to go to sleep, Cross found Dust’s iPad and downloaded numerous Happy Tree Friends and Don't Hug Me I'm Scared episodes, letting them watch it while lying all over him. Horror was sat in his lap, gnawing on a dog chew Cross had found while Dust flopped against Cross' side, attempting to smack Horror at every available opportunity. Killer had draped himself over Cross' shoulder, stroking his knife.

Cross surely was good with kids.

**Author's Note:**

> Apparently this is what happens when I write at 2am.
> 
> And by "this" I mean absolute crap.


End file.
